Allllmost outta here

I've got so much to do in the next 3 days, my head should be spinning around. I don't know if I'll get it all done, almost certainly not to the standard I'd like. And, since I've been here for about 9 months, I should probably be ashamed of my procrastination.


But, you know what? I've been doing what we were willing to pay someone a salary plus room and board for the past 9 months. So if I didn't accomplish everything I would have liked to on top of that, I'm not going to feel bad about it. Plus, I've probably reached the point where I'm ready to just say F*** it! I don't even care any more.


Particularly since most of what I'm not doing that well with doesn't really affect me all that much. Selfish? Maybe. But, again, I. Just. Don't. Care.


Because...soon...I am SO outta here.


For those who haven't been following along, I've been living in the town where I grew up and taking care of my elderly stroke victimised mother. Since my mother isn't actually bedridden, the location has been way more grim than the duties. This is the town I left the day after I graduated from high school and never had much desire to return to. And I can't believe I've been here for 9 freaking months.


It hasn't been actively horrible, since I've mostly stayed holed up in the house and had fairly regular biweekly overnight stays in New Orleans. However, most of the visits to New Orleans did not consist of much more than quick family visits, movies and cheap eats. Still, it was an extremely welcome change of scene. And, fortunately, I have an EXTREMELY high tolerance for staying holed up.


In the same vein, I'll be relocating to Carson City for what will hopefully be no longer than a few months. That place was never even close to the top of the list of places I'd choose to live, but it's got this place beat by miles and I can't tell you how I am looking forward to being there. Plus, my sister is there, and we're both looking forward to having fun together again. 


Still, my stay here was supposed to be only for a few months and it turned into almost a year. Seriously, I am appalled when I think about it. Seems like such an awful waste of time. 

Sigh. 

It wasn't really. My mother got to see her family over an extended period of time, which she thoroughly enjoyed. One of her sisters actually died a few weeks ago, so it was very providential that we were here. We spent many days at the hospital leading up to the final days.


Anyway, best case scenario is we hit a beach destination wedding mid-October, return to Las Vegas to get Mom all settled into an assisted living facility, then my sister and I take off for a couple of months starting in Sicily to search for family documents that will help in our pursuit of Italian passports.


Well, a girl can dream.


Some of what I have to do tomorrow and Monday is chase down local documents before I leave. I did some of that today, which included a 2 hour round trip drive. I really wish I would have tackled this much earlier. It probably would have made my stay here much more interesting, as would have studying Italian. But I have been tired the whole time I've been living here.


Part of that was maybe mild depression, but the other part - the major part, I'm sure - was having a monitor in my room. I'm an extremely light sleeper and my mother tends to talk in her sleep. I'm not a very high energy person to begin with, so living for several months with sleep issues has really drained me.


Well, now, I think that's enough whining.


I'm LEAVING! And that is cause for celebration. I am so grateful to put a period to this phase of my life that, in spite of all I have to do from now until Tuesday, I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And, even though I've got a few months in a relatively unexciting place, it happens to be very exciting compared to here. 

Boy, nothing like experiencing worse to make you appreciate the not so bad, huh?


And a handful of days in Las Vegas on the way will be very welcome, too. Which reminds me that I lived there several years while wishing I could live elsewhere. Little did I imagine there would come a time when I would have shot off a few toes to have been able to spend 18 months more in Las Vegas instead of the time I spent here and in Carson City...if I could have chosen which toes.


Anybody seeing a pattern here? Major grass is greener syndrome. And don't think I haven't realized this. I have gone to sleep here at night being grateful for my soft bed and the nice roof over my head. Because, as much as I didn't want to be here, I am well aware that there are much worse situations than my own. 

Of course, that doesn't stop me from hoping that I'm working my way back to where I can start from scratch again and actually be in places of my own choosing than those determined by circumstances beyond my control.


But, whatever, I've learned to be grateful for ANY blessings. And getting to leave here is a major one.


Outta here. Soon.